Make it Matter!

With Christmas approaching, December is the perfect month for reflection.

This is what we as a family do every year; It all starts with drawing up the balance sheet during Christmas and looking back on all the blessings we have received this past year.

And the funny thing is that we are always surprised and amazed by the abundance of good things that have happened to us.

My mother always used to say: “Count your blessings and be grateful for the little things.”

And on New Year’s Eve, we report this to each other and create some kind of vision board for the next year, on which we present our dreams, wishes and goals.

I’ve thoroughly studied successful people and have read many books on success. They all refer to conscious design. The reality is that the majority of people don’t think about success in a profound way. They don’t have images, thoughts, or ideas let alone plans about the content of their success.

They want success. But if you’d ask them to come up with specifics, they are clueless. They spend more time planning their holidays, the next football game or their marriage than planning how success on their terms would look like.

This means that if you live your life the way the majority of these people do, you’ll get the same outcome most people get. They live their life by default and the result of that philosophy is heartbreaking: Approximately 8 out of 10 people are unhappy and unfulfilled in both their life and work.

In his book “Blindspot, The Global Rise of Unhappiness” Jon Clifton addresses the concerning fact that unhappiness in this moment of time is at a record high. Meaning that people feel more anger, sadness, pain, worry and stress than ever before.

The number of people, with mental health issues such as burnout, depression, anxiety, and panic disorders has never been higher. The divorce rates have significantly risen. Not to speak about the lack of finances. I used to be one of them.

Why is it that so many people are living in quiet desperation, settling for less and leading an unfulfilled life?

Despite my ability to build successful businesses and work with the top 1% of people all over the world while having everything, I thought was important, I knew there was something missing deep inside of me. When I first started my career, I was opportunity-driven, focusing on more: More revenues, more profits, and more growth. And I became very good at it. I thought that being successful in my career was the highway to having a successful life.

It has taken me years in order to understand that we are living in a masculine, ego-centered system which primary focus is on performance, material success and achievement.

This paradigm has taken us far, but now it’s slowly destroying you. The sad thing is that you might not even realize it while wondering why this all is happening to you.

Which is a disempowering question by the way. Disempowering because the answers that will come up will only make you more depressed.

Some people will be questioning the meaning or purpose of life; Why am I here?

Worldly therapists and coaches have trouble with the concept of “life purpose” itself. They reject the idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it.

They’d rather focus on finding your passion. Doing things you love.

They encourage people to do what they want to do. That’s great, you also have to do what you want to do. The only problem, however, most people have no clue what they want.

People are often so busy choosing without moving forward and that is a great pity because passion often arises when you are taking action. You often can’t find it because it does not exist as a thing. Passion arises when you do something.

Throughout the years I had become very competent and passionate about growing businesses and started out helping entrepreneurs growing their businesses to 1 million and beyond in revenues.

This all sounds great, but looking back the only problem I have with this is that I was still totally focused on myself. So please allow me to lift the veil of a deeper truth.

Today a growing number of people are awakening to a new stage of evolution; They don’t just want to achieve success, they want to become themselves fully, unleash their gifts, experience deep intimacy, create loving relationships, awaken their spiritual potential, and make a difference in the world.

I experienced this inner yearning of my soul and what I’ve found is that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life, I’ve had to master my inner game first. This all starts with clarity of who you truly are meant to be.

From that perspective I would gladly point out one of my favorite Biblical verses where the prophet Jeremiah declares the following truth:

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

A few years ago, I heard a message from a pastor that revealed an interesting new perspective: He explained that the word “plans” in Hebrew actually means “purpose, destiny, invention and design.”

So, to me, it meant that God has a purpose for my life and that everything that happens is always working for me. So, God hasn’t just a singular plan. He has many plans to get us to our purpose.

So basically, we cannot fail!

Just be aware that you are on a life-long journey and in order to meet your purpose or destiny you must keep on walking.

At the other hand there are people who believe that we are here on earth to suffer, and it will all be better, once we’ll arrive in heaven. Because in heaven there will be no more suffering, no more pain, no more sorrow et cetera. The problem I have with that is that it causes people to be passive and puts them in the waiting mode while accepting their situation as it is in the meantime.

I know people who want to change the world by meditating or praying full-time. That seems very spiritual. But that alone won’t make any difference.

Why? Because God can only do to you, what He can do through you!

In other words: You are the vehicle through which God can work, create, and manifest. So consistent and persistent action is the key.

Instead of waiting for heaven, let’s create heaven on earth. What could be your contribution to making this earth a better place?

Many pastors emphasize that we should seek God’s Kingdom first.

The full scripture in the Christian tradition comes from the Bible, Matthew 6:33 and goes as follows: “But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you”.

For many years I could never actually grasp what they meant by that.

The passage about seeking God’s Kingdom first centers on worldly concerns like worry or anxiety. Temptations most of us face.

It calls upon us to seek first the Kingdom of God instead of worrying about what we’ll eat or how we’ll dress, which are all temporal or superficial concerns.

To seek God’s Kingdom means we have to make a conscious decision to step into “our” destiny instead of being led by anxiety or worry about material provisions.

It’s about understanding that your life has been intelligently designed to guide you in becoming who God has created you to become, in order to achieve your potential.

And this is the purpose of your life; To find out who you are. Because your identity is ultimately your destiny.

God’s agenda is to grow and fulfil the potential of the seed He put in you! The only thing you have to find out is how your master yourself. When you master yourself, you master life.

So, let go of your fear and become an inspiration for your loved ones and community.

Start living your life to its full extent, in alignment with your purpose or destiny.

For, that’s the greatest gift you can give to this world.

That’s where the magic happens.

God had His way in my life; Years ago, my wife had a bad accident that left her physically so deteriorating that she became emotionally exhausted. She was no longer able to run her horse business on her own. This led to depression and after a long search, we found a mental healthcare institution where she was lovingly taken care of. She was able to recover there for a period of several months. This event was a turning point in our lives: While Carola was literally stopped, my heart was touched.

Fast forward to today, next to my coaching & consulting business, I and my wife are running a shelter where we take care of and rehabilitate young women with mental health issues. Oftentimes these women can no longer live safely at home with their parents due to sad circumstances such as violence, rape, parental incapacity and sometimes even incest.

We currently have 16 youthful young women living with us in our “Girls Home”.

There’s a saying: “You don’t only live once. You live every single day, and you only die once.”

So, start living for today and create a life worth living…

Start walking in your destiny, create your legacy and make your life matter!

Published in Exquisite International Magazine, December 2022